Friday, November 30, 2012

Like throwing out my scale

I have always believed that if I were a bit thinner then I would be happy and easy and carefree.  Unfortunately the only two times in my life when I have been able to lose weight were when I was emotionally traumatized by break ups. 

So, not so carefree, ya know? :)

A couple years ago my Ben made me throw away my scale.  It was much harder than I like to admit, actually.  I thought it might be a little uncomfortable since I had been weighing myself daily for decades (with no weight loss side effect as clearly promised in all those mags) but it felt like going off of crack or something.  Not that I know how that feels...

I longed for that scale.  I truly did.  I actually considered fishing it out of his dumpster (he had taken it away with him, not trusting me to actually follow through on tossing it). 

Can you imagine?  Fishing a scale out of a dumpster so that I could know if I was a couple pounds up or down from a day ago? 

What madness is that?  Truly...I ask you?

So I have been scale-less now for maybe two years?  Somewhere around there.   I think that my weight stayed about the same for the first year and then I landed in hospital with a flare of my colitis and lost 30lbs in about 3 weeks. 

Oh, I had forgotten that as one of the 'carefree' thin episodes. :~

My weight slowly crept back up after getting out of the hospital and these last couple months my clothes have begun to get tight...

and I have begun to long for a scale again.

So I debated.  and debated.  and researched.  and talked to Benja.  and then I bought a scale.  Against his wishes, I might add. 

And here I am three days later, packaging it back up. 

It is going back to the store, ASAP. 

That thing is nothing but trouble.

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